


Drops Of Blue

by imhere



Category: drops of blue
Genre: Best Friends, Boyfriends, Coming of Age, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 05:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16528136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imhere/pseuds/imhere
Summary: He didn't believe in a Happily Ever After. Denial and anger stopped him from ever even considering it. One trip could change all that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Hello, welcome to Drops Of Blue!** **I**

**feel like I need to explain a little bit before I jump into the storytelling. This work is not fan fiction, but it is a piece of fiction I've written and I hope you'll enjoy it. The rights of this work belong to me, meaning no one can re-upload this anywhere without my permission. Thank you, and I hope you have a pleasant reading experience!**

**\- E.A**


	2. one

**1.**

 

**THE TRIP**

  
  
  
  


It wasn’t that warm outside, even though this had been highly advertised when the talk of how awesome the trip would be first came about. It wasn’t warm and the sun only shone for a whopping five minutes during the day of their leaving. Maybe that was to be expected, but when everyone was seated tightly in the car like a pack of sardines, the stormy clouds came nearing and the trip had gone on for an hour or two, it was too late to make a u-turn and call everything off.

 

      Not to even mention how big of a Hell it would be to unpack the car from all of the things that had been shoved inside in the naive hope that the belongings of five people would fit in the trunk of a life forsaken Honda. And all of that work of putting the stuff in having been for nothing in the end. There wasn’t any big grudge held against the Honda, not really. But it just happened to be such a monstrosity of a being that even the naming of it had been refused, as it wasn’t deemed worthy enough. Maybe if people were feeling emotional, they’d call it the Shit Honda. With love only, of course. 

       Four hours and a bathroom break into their journey, the sun was obviously not shining, but the sky was disgustingly bright. It was too white, not blue enough and way too grey.

In the car, only christmas songs were listened to, never minding the fact that July was approaching with a fast speed. The radio had been broken before anyone in the car had even been born, and inside there was stuck a cassette filled with christmas cheer. Matias could probably recite it in his sleep from the first track to the last, if need be.

 

        Matias yawned, he never liked traveling by car, since he found it impossible to sleep in moving vehicles. He had been up since the early morning to pack his things. He was running on very little sleep. With nothing to say, he turned to look out the window, taking notice of the sign that informed of the next gas station twenty kilometers away. Next to him, a boy slightly older than him glanced at him quickly, as if to make sure he wouldn’t open the car door at the next traffic light and sprint out to avoid their trip. But Matias remained seated quietly and listened to the sound of jingle bells coming from the poor quality stereo of the car. He didn’t say anything unnecessary, anything unneeded. Instead he held his sketchbook tightly to his chest, like a child squeezing a toy they didn't want to give away. 

  
  
  


It was never questioned. No one ever pointed out how Matias hung out with the cool kids, even though he was the opposite of interesting and was only mediocre when it came to looks. He was just let to exist. He was accepted and everyone silently respected the fact that the cool kids had taken this scrawny kid as their protege. That’s something he had to accept too. That he was just a lame loser, in their group to make everyone else look better.

      He rarely ever voiced out any of his concerns when it came to his friends and friend group in general. But when he did, everyone told him to stop being silly.

      He just couldn’t bring himself to believe them.

 

That’s what he thought anyway.

 

        He’s never been fond of trips, more or less avoiding them whenever he had the chance to do so. But this time he had been physically dragged out by his roommate. “Come with us or stay at home and starve,” he had said. Not even meant in a mean way. It was just a known fact that Matias did not know how to cook. And without his roommate he would be surviving on bread slices and coffee exclusively.

 

       So there he was, sat in a cramped car because he didn’t want to starve. What a life he lived. 

 

He didn’t understand why they always chose SH (Shit Honda,) when they needed to go somewhere. It’s not like it was their only way of transportation, trains and metros were a thing! But still, the christmas music-blasting, vaguely smelly and disgusting car was always their number one choice. He didn’t complain. Because he wanted to just enjoy his time with his friends, if possible.

 

“Okay, does anyone need to pee? Is anyone hungry? I think there’s a McDonald’s like… ten minutes away,” Isse spoke from the passenger’s seat. Matias was quite fond of him. Matias had met Isse in the second grade. Matias had just changed schools due to moving to a new town, and was sitting alone at lunch on his first day. Isse came by and sat with him, and gave him a grin missing a few teeth. They’d been friends ever since. 

 

“Yes I need to fucking pee I’ve been holding it for the past thirty minutes and I think I’m gonna start crying if I don’t get to release this soon,” Teo cried out, earning a smack on the head from Tomas. 

 

“TMI, dude, no one wants to know about your bladder-related problems,” Anniina said from behind the wheel, earning an offended gasp from Teo.

 

“I’ll have you know that Isse is very concerned for my well being, aren’t you?” Teo dramatically sighed, reaching out to Isse. 

 

“I hate you so much,” Isse said with a blank face, making everyone else in the car burst into laughter. 

 

“I’m heartbroken, I thought we had something special,” Teo whined dramatically. Dramatic and energetic as ever. 

 

“As much as I am loving this conversation, I would love to inform everyone that I’m hungry,” Tomas announced from the middle seat. It was a comic sight, a boy his size in the middle seat. His tall figure was slouched as he tried to relax in his seat. 

 

Matias scoffed, a smile tugging at his lips.

 

“Come on roomie, you can laugh,” Tomas nudged his shoulder. Matias stuck his tongue out.

“Who said I wanted to laugh?” Matias challenged, a playful sound ringing in his voice. 

“I know you wanted to, you always laugh with me,” Tomas said proudly. Matias felt his cheeks flush.

“That has nothing to do with this,” he mumbled quietly, turning away from him again. 

 

Tomas let out a laugh and Matias was trying his best to calm his hot cheeks. He hated the fact that he’d flushed so badly. What he hated more that Tomas was the one to make him flush. He’s a boy, isn't he? He’s not meant to feel this way about a boy.

 

“Matias, you've been awfully quiet this whole ride. Are you okay?” Anniina asked, glancing at Matias from the rearview mirror. 

 

“I’m fine. Just… thinking, I guess, “ he shrugged, fiddling with his fingers. 

 

“If you’re thinking about Linnea, don’t! She's not worth your time anyway. I mean sure, you were together for, what, two years? But the way she ended things was just rude! Who breaks up over text?” Anniina rambled, and it made Matias smile a bit. 

 

Ah, Linnea. The prettiest, nicest girl in school that chose to put up with Matias even though he was painfully awkward. The prettiest girl that still couldn't make him feel anything. He didn't love her as anything more than a friend. That’s why it was such a huge relief when she broke things off, telling him she’d met someone new, who could give her the world. On that day Matias had been happy. Happy for her, because she’d finally be with someone who appreciated her more than he ever could. 

 

“I’m not. She's a lovely person, even if things didn't work out for us,” Matias pointed out. It felt weird to talk about his past relationship. Because even if it had been loveless- maybe even on both sides- he held her close to his heart. He cared about her, but more like a brother would about a sister. And she knew that. She protected him and his secret. 

 

They were together because of their secrets, that they desperately wanted to hide. She just decided that she was tired of pretending. which was absolutely understandable. 

 

“Let’s not talk about Matias’ failure of a love life, let’s focus on more important things, like what we’re gonna eat. Isse is paying since he's fucking loaded, so don't hold back,” Teo said devilishly. Isse rolled his eyes but didn't fight back. The car got loud as everyone was thinking out loud, planning their orders. 

 

Matias wasn't hungry. 

 

“Hey, roomie, you okay?” Tomas asked, looking at Matias with his big, brown eyes. Matias had always thought his eyes were too intense. Like he was constantly trying to figure out all his secrets and pull him in, into his void of vanilla scent and softness. It terrified him. 

 

“Yeah, just tired I guess,” Matias shrugged. Why did he feel so nervous? 

“You can sleep, you know,” Tomas said, a smile sitting on his pink lips. 

 

Matias shook his head, returning the smile. 

“No, it's fine, I can't sleep in cars.”

“You can always try. You can lean on my shoulder, I don't mind,” Tomas suggested and damn those butterflies for invading his stomach. 

 

“Okay,” Matias whispered, carefully leaning his head on Tomas. He wasn't sure why his heart was beating so fast. 

  
  


***

 

Finally the car ride was over. Matias cheered mentally, finally he could sleep properly! He’d found it difficult to sleep on Tomas’ shoulder, only because of the fact that it was impossible to find a good position. How in the world was he supposed to fall asleep when Tomas wouldn't keep still for one second? 

  
  


They arrived at the cottage. It was owned by Anniina’s parents. Matias felt nervous; the building looked so expensive and grand. He would be too scared to touch anything, and it would surely limit his experience on their two week get away. 

 

“Stop worrying you dwarf, and help us unpack the car,” Teo broke his internal debate with a gentle smack to Matias’ arm. 

“Fine, fine, no need to hit me,” Matias retorted, rolling his eyes.

“You know it's out of love!” Teo shouted out obnoxiously. 

“Hmm, sure.”

 

He hadn't realized how much stuff they had until it was all out of the car and in the entryway of Anniina’s parents’ cottage. Did they really need all this? 

 

They probably didn’t, to be honest, but it didn’t hurt anyone to be prepared for everything and anything, so why worry? 

 

It was a quick and relatively easy task to get their stuff out of the car and inside the cottage with the help with all the five of them. 

 

“Have you heard anything from Reetta, Iiris and Nonna?”  Anniina asked, plopping down comfortably on the couch. Matias found it hard to relax, he felt nervous to touch anything, just incase it would break and he’d have to pay for it. He didn’t have the money to do that, not when everything in the building looked so expensive.

  
  
  


“I think they’re all coming in a few hours, at least that’s what Nonna texted me a few hours ago,” Tomas piped in. Matias wished he would just shut up. Because every time he spoke, Matias felt so shy. With no reason to feel that way. 

 

“Okay, then we should make some food and heat up the jacuzzi,” Anniina suggested, spreading her legs and putting them on the coffee table. Her woolly socks were red and blue, and Matias thought they were adorable.

 

Truth is, Matias has always thought Anniina was a wonderful person. Her hair was thick, curly, dark and long. Her smile was one of the prettiest he’d seen, and her eyes held mystery and sparkle. She was a woman. She was beautiful. And he loved her like a sister. 

 

“I keep forgetting how rich you and Isse both are, why don’t you donate us more money, the rest of us are poor, Anniina,” Teo commented, laying his head on Isse’s shoulder. Isse rolled his eyes. 

“You’re such a little nuisance, you know that?” Isse nudged Teo, but didn’t make a move to move him off of his shoulder.

“You still love me!”

  
  


“Me and Matias can heat up the jacuzzi,” Tomas interrupted, grabbing Matias by the hand and dragging him somewhere. Did he even know where he was going?

 

“Oh, okay! Everything you need is out there in plain sight, so I don’t think you’ll have any issues, but if you do, just call out to me and I’ll help you guys out!” Anniina smiled, ushering the two boys out and forcing the two others to come with her to the kitchen to make something to eat. 

 

And all of a sudden they were all alone. Together. Matias knew Tomas was looking at him, he could feel the burgundy glance of his in his bones. He knew that if he turned away he’d be face to face with Tomas, looking him in the eye in painful silence. 

 

He couldn’t bring himself to turn around and do it. 

 

It’s not like they’ve never been alone together before- quite the opposite actually- they were roommates after all. But still, it was different now that their other friends weren’t that far away. And it wasn’t like Matias felt uncomfortable with Tomas, he actually enjoyed his company and appreciated him.

But recently his own feelings had become… confusing, and a huge mess. He didn’t know how to joke around with him in the same way as he had before, not when every single time he even glanced his way or grazed him with his fingers. He felt like a nervous mess around him and he didn’t think it was a good thing. Definitely not a good thing. And he had to stop feeling like that.

 

“So… you ever warmed up a jacuzzi before?” Matias trailed off, walking next to the big tub. It looked insane, big and luxurious, and he couldn’t believe he could enjoy the comforts of that. He felt excited. He cracked a small smile.

 

“Dude, not once in my life,” Tomas admitted, laughing a little. 

“I think it’s one of those ones that get heated up with wood? Have you made a fire before?” Matias asked, looking around for a lighter and wood.

“I know I’m very inexperienced when it comes to things like this, but have some faith in me, obviously I’ve made a fire before!” Tomas claimed, a pout gracing his lips. His soft and plump, glossy lips… Matias really needed to focus. 

 

“Okay! I was just, making sure, you little baby,” Matias teased, feeling himself feel more comfortable again. For the first time in weeks he felt like he could be natural with Tomas again and just enjoy their time together. He knew that Tomas noticed it too, judging by the smile blooming on his face. He was glad he didn’t comment on it though, and instead continued on with their task. 

 

It turned out to be harder than he had initially thought. He felt like he couldn’t get anything to work. The wood wasn’t dry enough, and the fire seemed to be too dull. 

 

“I’m going to cry if we don’t get this to work, I just want to relax,” Matias whined, falling back on the terass. It wouldn’t hurt to just lie there for a few seconds and take in the fresh air.

 

“Come on, we can totally get this to work! All you have to do is give it all you’ve got,” Tomas said, way too cheerfully to be authentic.

 

“You are a liar and a very bad friend,” Matias spoke, blindly kicking his foot up, hoping it would hit Tomas. From the sound of laughter he figured he didn’t hit.

 

“Am I not your best friend, Matty?” Tomas asked suddenly. Matias felt stunned for a bit.

“Of course you are, Tom, why would you even need to ask that?” Matias spoke, not taking his eyes off the sky. The stars were starting to appear and he loved the way they looked. He found it so beautiful and entrancing. He was immersed in the art of the way the sky glistened and glimmered. 

 

Tomas had moved to sit next to him, exhaling loudly, finally laying down next to him and glancing up at the sky with him.

 

“I’m glad.”


End file.
